Farewell and thank-you, Dave

A top 10 list in tribute of the retiring Manhattan majordomo of midnight mirth

So the Foo Fighters will rock the Ed Sullivan Theatre on the last night of the tenancy of David Letterman. Perfect. I almost saw Dave Grohl’s band and Jerry Seinfeld live there on Hallowe’en 2002, when I was in New York on a travel-writing trip and to cover the New York Marathon.

I never made it out of the standby line, but, being a Thursday night, there was a second taping, for the Nov. 1, 2002 episode. The guests? The Legendary Don Rickles and the Pale Jim Gaffigan. Not a half-bad consolation prize, eh?

My pre-show dinner at Rupert Jee’s Hello Deli consisted of the Shaffer sandwich (cutlet, cheese, sweet peppers, lettuce, tomato and mayonnaise on a hero) — served by Mr. Jee himself. And, yes, the theatre was kept cold. Just like Dave liked it.

After 33 years of watching the white-socked, gap-toothed merrymaker from Indiana, what else can one do for therapy but create a top 10 list?

So, from the home office in Spuzzum, British Columbia: The Top 10 New Ideas to Beat Boredom at 11:35 p.m. On Weeknights, After David Letterman Retires.

10: Brush up on Etch-a-Sketch
9: Become a breakdancer
8: Watch Friends reruns in chronological order
7: Three words: Home Shopping Channel
6: Practice Grade 10 algebra
5: Read Taxidermy for Dummies
4: Memorize the periodic table of the elements
3: Backyard T-shirt cannon target practice
2: Unlock the secrets of Newton’s cradle (y’know, them collision balls)

And, the number one new idea to beat boredom at 11:35 p.m. on weeknights, after David Letterman retires:

1: Bingo!

Thanks to Dave and the NBC Late Night, CBS Late Show and Worldwide Pants teams for 33 years of laughter and inspiration (and a little bit of insomnia).

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